Scarlett

 I would be so happy if i leave this house. Setiap hari aku mikir ga sabar untuk lulus SMA and get fuck out from this city.

  The Boy, The Mole, The Fox, And The Horse  Directed by Peter Baynton pls listen to this  song while you read this or open this  playlist Some things i've learned from this is book and animation: "When i lost, i didn't like that feeling it feels like blank, hollow, empty. Empty, my heart is wild as the ocean but it's hollow" "But then at the moment that you lost, something's coming in, it feels strange" "Then you begin to get know that 'something' you're start to open up with that thing" "Suddenly when you start to open up there is something that makes you afraid" "People said keep beeing kind to other" "Then good things will come for you and people will help you" "Don't judge a book by it's cover. what you think is bad is not always bad and vice versa" "then you found another things" "You start to get out from your comfort zone" "Once you dare to come ou

You never know what it's feel like. This strange feeling is going through my veins, it hurts, it hurts. One thing you take for granted, but not for me, pleasee.  I've been clean for 15 month and hoping still counting. But in the 15th month I had a bad thought, I was impulsive.  Aku mau minta maaf sama semua orang, i know imma bad mad person, aku ga pantes disini. Dan aku mau bilang makasih buat semua orang yang bikin aku semangat buat masuk sekolah, this is realllyyyyy triggering me rn but i have to tell this, sorry i had to tell it this way..... VIVIDLY.....

Like it Here ( Click This ) Don't change, sit tight... Don't change, you think I'm already tired... I don't mind you stay today Beside, you did it once, did it all I don't mind you brush my hair you said you did it once, did it all... No shame, I won't make a judgement Don't stray, I'm here your opposite direction I would mind you stay in bed 'Coz you did it all, all time... I would mind you act heavy you did it all, all time... This is tiring, still Can I be yours for a day? A day... a day... a day... A day... Way I see it, yes we're odd to be... Way I see it, ooh I like it here...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHOULD I DO. All my skincare, my shampoo, my conditioner run out at the same time, my life miserable, i don't have people to talk with, I tried everything i took language lesson, i tried playing some instrument, i tried cooking, i tried everthing, turns out it meant nothing. yes... i've been clean for 15 months, it ain't easy thoo........

 aku capek harus ngertiin orang terus tapi gaada yang ngertiin aku t____t bukannya aku pamrih tapi plis lah i tried so hard to understand anyone in my whole life, IF YOU KNOW aku selalu berusaha untuk melihat dari sudut pandang pikiran kalian, kalau kalian berbuat ga enak sama aku atau orang akutuh pasti liat dulu pov kalian. Aku tau sih kalau aku gabisa kontrol mereka karena itu diluar kendali aku :((( jadi bete. I hope there's someone who thinks like me and treat me like how i treat them.  i slowly get it, it's everyone first time living, it's my first time in highschool, it's my first time having friends group, it's her or his first time too, it's her first time beeing mom, it's his first time beeing and   it's everyone first time beeing blah blah blah ada kata2 nya tp aku lupa mau cari dulu yaaa